the exhale

Lately, I catch myself not exhaling. With every breath that escapes me another moment has passed. I hold my breath as though it will somehow freeze time so that I can step from where I am into where I think I’m supposed to be. I hold my breath until it literally escapes me, completely against my will. It’s been a long time since I hated to exhale. For so long, the exhales have been the best moments of beautiful days. Lately, there are no favorite moments of my days. There are just days, days that pass, days that as they pass take me another step closer to…

And that’s the problem. The not knowing to where.

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